treats

The Day the Dog Verbal Vomit

Today is a Very Good Day for a Very Good Dog. That’s Me.

(desk)by James McDonald on Unsplash | (celery)by Sticker Mule on Unsplash | (peanut butter)by Tetiana Bykovets on Unsplash | edited by dog

Kicker letter of the day is T. Today being my first day as a writer, you’d think I’d start with A, but you’re wrong. Perhaps you thought it’d be P for peanut butter or Poodle. Wrong again, woof. Today is T for treats.

Treated the human today to tidy tasks. It’s fun. Like a game in reverse. I make the rules and the human has no choice but to play along. I make games of messes. No one expects me to clean up my own debacles. Hey, I ain’t got no thumbs. Tackle that throwup, person. The smell is triggering my gag reflex, again.

Am Poodle. Peanut Butter is life. Today I learned I do not like celery with my peanut butter. The human stepped away from its desk for 2 seconds. Evvveryone knooows the laws of the universe command 2 seconds green-for-go on all things nomage. It’s not my fault the distracted human left their people food unguarded.

I swooped in, scarfed, ran to the living room and promptly puked it out all over the white carpet. Who can blame me? I mean, come on. Look at this place. It’s cold and sterile. I’ll take colorful dog barf over prison cell any day.

Don’t worry. I’m good. I made sure to slobber every last taste of the disgusting green stuff all over the…