THE VET
International Dog of Mystery
Every time the human tries to tell me what to do, I remind it I once saved the world. Am Poodle. Am International dog of mystery. Respect.
A pigeon landed on the balcony. My poodle noggin whipped around in fixed attention. Wait, there’s something on its foot! “Bark! Bark! Bark! Person, let me out!” Human slid the patio door open. Pigeon brain just stood. Dumb bird.
“I heard that. Listen up, PooPoodle. Cat sent me from London. Take this note off my foot already. Who’s the dumb one now? Cat is expecting you first thing in the morning.” (((flap flap flap))) — flies off.
Who’s Cat? Like, of all the furballs in the Universe, I’m supposed to know who this dumb pigeon’s talking about. — “I can still hear you.” *poop-splat!*
Unravels note. Dr. Evil, lost marbles. What? Oh well. Human person won’t miss me. Too busy typing on the glowing thing at their desk for hours, days. I’ll jet over the pond to arrive first thing in the morning then jet home before dinner tomorrow.
I arrived in London to Angels flying over the city. Trumpets blaring, the Angels rained milktoast bread pudding and mincedmeat pie dog treats down from the sky. “Thank you, good dog! You got the note. Cat is ready to form an alliance and defeat Dr. Evil. He’s been practicing weird spells. Every time Cat awakes there’s something else missing. Cat says bad man has been thinking aloud, plans of bad deeds to all the precious animals across London. Dog, save them!”
Ohh, ‘lost marbles’, got it. — “Angels, take me to Cat at once!”
Bark! Somewhere outside London Tower, Cat scurries down to meet dog in the street. But Doctor Evil heard all the comotion, scooped up Cat and rushed downstairs with mini-me in tow. “What have we here? Cat, who is this?”
Bark! Bark!
“American accent, ha! You have no powers here, dog.” Mini-me’s arms are flailing wildly toward dog. “Oh, you like doggy, minz? You want the doggy? Doggy your pet now? — Come, American dog. You belong…
